In an attempt to cheer myself a few weeks ago, I tried to think of something I could look forward to, but it was difficult. Through a tearful struggle, I came up with a few things and kept my eyes on them with the expectation that I would be cheered once they happened. This gave me a precarious sensation of hope amidst circumstances that had been brimming with loss for several years. But… this was simply a recipe for additional disappointment.
Several years of chemical sensitivities that cause vertigo, migraines, and insomnia coupled with a difficult past 6 months including a broken shoulder, caring for family members with major medical issues, and worsening insomnia have been difficult but sanctifying. I keep hoping that a period of rest will come, thinking that a reprieve from trials is what is needed in order to accomplish this. However, God’s understanding is beyond mine. I have entered through the door of a new challenge… breast cancer.
Some have wondered how I have been able to have joy in the midst of physical suffering. There is only one answer to that question: my faith. I used to wonder how a person’s faith could provide strength to bear afflictions. Now I know, and I want others to know.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
…Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.
Oh, how I want to do that! But, how do I?
Over the years, my understanding of the gift of salvation that I received from Christ has grown. It started as acceptance of the fact that I am a sinner in need of a savior, and that Jesus is the only one capable of being the sacrifice to pay for my sins. The relief I felt when I first accepted this at the age of 34 was tremendous. However, I have gradually come to understand how He is enough for me on a daily basis as I have experienced many losses over the years.
Most recently, physical disabilities have drastically reduced my contact with people since I am mostly homebound. A year ago, I had started training to be a Biblical counselor, but I have found that I can’t commit to be physically present for a person. I am extremely sensitive to perfumes and fragrances from laundry detergents, dryer sheets, makeup, shampoo, etc. which cause me to be sick with vertigo and migraines for several days following exposure.
Around the time that I realized what was making me so sick, I suddenly had a desire to write a book. The words just poured out of me even though writing had never been a strong ability of mine. All of what I had learned from several years of being sick with vertigo, migraines, and insomnia was there…on paper…and it felt so good to think that someone else might benefit by seeing how God had been faithful to me through it all. He has taught me so much through trials, and I wanted to comfort someone else as I had been comforted (2 Corinthians 1:4). Attempts to get this book published have been challenging, causing me to wonder if there might be a different way for me to fulfill my part of the Great Commission.
My desire is to share with you, my friend and reader, what I am learning as I study the Bible. When I was first saved, I found it difficult to be excited about study; maybe, I didn’t know where to start, but start I did. I have found such treasures as I have dug deeper and deeper. Sometimes, I even find diamonds where I only saw pearls the first time around. Sermons from people like Charles Spurgeon spark deep thoughts about what I read in Scripture, and I’m so eager to share these with someone. What a blessing it is to have technology to help with this commission; I pray that something I share will be an encouragement to you as I attempt to point you to the True Treasure.